diets don't work

Picked up ds#1 and #2 monday morning for their Fabulous Summer Camp Experience, as xh didn't want to cart them over to my place sunday p.m, and when asked what they had for lunch, poor d.s #1 had a handful of stick pretzels and a carton of milk, d.s#2 had the same plus - BONUS - a two inch piece of thin crust pizza. The looks on their faces have been haunting me all week. They tried to blow it off, act like it was ok, but they were hurt. Food is such a basic need when you are a child, and the problem wasn't that there was not enough food in the house, it was, according to xh, "i had a crappy day, i forgot to put something else in there, i fucked up." the something else was a piece of pizza for d.s #1. they are supposed to have 2 snacks, a drink to last the day, and lunch. i guess they were supposed to ration their ten pretzel sticks between morning and afternoon snack. this is on top of the fact that d.s #1 who has SPD is supposed to be taking DHA supplements every day to help his brain work and xh can't handle making sure that happens, so my 8 year old son must remember to take them and make sure he has enough there to get by. I fucked up is such a lame bullshit excuse, but it truly fits him. there was no reason not to properly pack childrens lunches, i can guarantee you he did not go without food or beer. my poor sweet girl is completely over hearing about this insanity and honestly, so am i, but i will NEVER GET AWAY FROM IT. i get serious guilt trips wishing i had never met him, or had the guts to leave him and let him kill himself without me as was his prerogative, because then i would never have had the darling monkey boys in my life and i adore them so much it hurts.