hold the dark with the light, the good with the evil

My words:
coherence and fairness in administration.
hear what the teachers say.
fair policies - DRESS CODE
hinchcliffes field trips must continue.
the field trips should be school wide
continue dress down days as fundraisers for uniforms and field trips.
got to do positive feedback!!!!!
we need a fac.
tutoring and absences - absences are ruining a chance of "rigor"

My colleagues words:

why can't we have kids come during virtues? - I was informed today that all the kids lie to get out of virtues and that it makes ME look bad. REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

schedule for virtues tutoring
after school tutoring is not an option for all kids
school wide literacy plan needs to have teacher input.
we need to be aware of the high rate of ESE ESOL and medicated kids!
why so many meetings!?
ruby pain - in the ass
rather work with team on literacy and math strategies.
feel like we are all in survival mode


I am so tired.
I am tired of all the excuses
I am tired of the DRAMA
I am tired of the attitudes
I am tired of the fickle bi-polar nature of so many of our kids
I am tired of kids who won’t take their medication
I am tired of corralling students back on track when they don’t want to work
I am tired of telling kids to put away headphones and cell phones
I am tired of being told that I have to get my kids ready for an exam they are 5 years deficient for, then given NO time to assist my students in school.
I am tired of Ms. M insinuating that I have kids in my class during virtues because I don’t make them work during class
I am tired of the kids NOT wanting to be in virtues
I am tired of the inconsistent enforcement of the dress code
I am tired of losing my planning periods every time we administer a test or change the schedule
I am tired of losing my preps every Wednesday to sit in a training that honestly, I do not need and have already attended
I am tired of people yelling at teachers
I am tired of cleaning my room
I am tired of cleaning my bathrooms
I am tired of vacuuming, windexing, 409-ing, bleaching, etc.
I am tired of spending money on supplies that the kids break and lose
I am tired of finding my classroom door unlocked when I specifically locked it when I left
I am tired of kids being places they shouldn’t be
I am tired of kids skipping classes or disappearing for a whole period to go “take their medicine”
I am tired of kids being ABSENT! ABSENT ABSENT ABSENT ABSENT!!!! Or LATE LATE LATE LATE!!!!
I am tired of nobody listening to the teachers
I am tired of hearing the word “module”
I am tired of everybody at p.
I am tired of being told I must maintain a higher standard – I already maintain a high standard
I am tired of being told how to build relationships and talk to my students – by a person who has no relationships with the kids and doesn’t know how to treat them respectfully.
I am tired of the fact that every teacher here is disgruntled and upset and we have tried to voice our thoughts and we have been shut down repeatedly. We get no answers to our questions. What are you doing about absences and lateness? Why can’t I get test review materials? What classrooms are we teaching in next semester?
Why won’t you listen to us about MODULES!!!!!!
I am tired of not knowing who’s suspended, who’s coming back from suspension.
I am tired of the kids knowing everything before I do. They tell me who’s coming back from being expelled…God forbid the school should.
I am tired of not knowing who has an IEP
I could sleep for a month.

The words from a person after I finally lost it in class - you can't break down all the time, Christine. These kids are DIFFERENT. They have PROBLEMS. They have BAD DAYS.
REALLY!?!?!?!?! I NEVER NOTICED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB. I reply.

You haven't been dealing with them as long as I have. You don't know them as well as I do. You don't love them as much as I do.

KISS MY ASS. THIS ISN'T A PISSING CONTEST.

You bought one of the best students in this school lunch and she's eating it with you instead of being with MM? Wow, she lied to you and you look bad.

SHE DIDN'T LIE. MM MISUNDERSTOOD HER AND WOULDN'T ADMIT IT. SHE WORKS HER TAIL OFF LEARNING INSTEAD OF TRYING TO SNEAK POT IN THE BUILDING. LEAVE HER ALONE!

DE is here working on a school project? She must be lazy. Does she have permission from her teacher to be here? She does? I don't believe her. (to de) Go get permission. I need to know you are telling me the truth. (DE proceeds to be insulted for being called a liar and tells DP off. DP tells me kids shouldn't speak to me [myself] like that.

SHE HAD PERMISSION AND SHE WAS TELLING YOU OFF NOT ME. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL WHO SAID SHE WOULD WRECK MY DESK AND SCREAMED AT ME FOR FIVE MINUTES IN CLASS???? NOTHING?!?!?!?!?!? SHOCKING.

I just can't believe the disconnect between the philosophy and the practice at this school. Why am I being treated so badly!? What did I do wrong? Stick it out here, love the kids with all my heart, have more face time than any other school in the district, give up my lunches and after school time to tutor, love them even though they had a bad day every single day, and never complain until I finally lost it? Yup. I'm a real jerk. A total mess.

I love her!

I just got a dog - she looks like phyllis diller, so her name is philly dilly. She is beyond cuteness. She's a chihuahua maltese mix,a s best as I can tell, and she is OFFICIALLLY the SMALLEST DOG I HAVE EVER OWNED. She might weigh 8 lbs sopping wet and my last two dogs were 45 and 95 pounds so this is quite a change for me. I just got her a little sweater along with a leash and collar because she has no hair - my sis in law (ex) but still friends! helped me shave her down so she looks less ... like a cancer patient and more like her namesake. She is smaller than DG's dog in the weight class but taller ... sooo cute .... I hope DG likes her. DG's dog Willpow is learning to tolerate her ... I do love my sweet DG and I want her to like my sweet puppy dog. DG, if you read this, please give love to Philly Dilly and I love you honey, you are my heart and soul. I can't begin to tell you how much you mean to me - the only people who are as important to me as you are my kids. So there. Deal with it. I love you!!!!!!!!!