wow how much can change in so little time ... its amazing that i look back on that last blog and I think i saw it coming. I was moving too fast for my own comfort and lo and behold, it was too fast for her too! When she said we needed to stop dating I took it as the bitter end. I thought it was over and I couldnt believe how much it hurt - i dont think I have ever hurt that much. I never cried like that, I was crying myself to sleep every night and tossing and turning, completely unable to rest. The only thing that made it bearable was being as active as possible, riding my bike as fast as I could for as long as i could and running every day. Unfortunately I ended up hurting my ankle int he process, but it worked out when we started really talking again and working things out. I really like not feeling obligated to her, not feeling like she is my girlfriend meaning wife and someone I am beholden to. Granted she offered up my apartment to feed her family, but I was going to do that anyway. Interesting how I didnt want to offer because I didnt want to seem like I was trying too hard, and then she came to me sounding all sorry that she had volunteered my place without asking. Really, how can anyone be so freaking adorable? im really loving how she is with the kids,and how well we function together as "friends", I love what we are doing now and I hope we can go for a good long time without feeling the need to label it or put any set boundaries on it. she says i can sleep with other people if i want - but i wonder how she would really feel of i did. Funny how being given the freedom to do it if i wanted to doesnt make me want to at all. I don't just sleep with people - and I have no desire to give my heart away again. Im good for now.