going home

i stink. my hair is greasy and my clothes are dirty. i made the mistake of not getting in the shower when i damn well should have and now it is apparently better that i shower at home. ia lways screw something up when i do anything so i will foul the air of the local aldi with my funk before i go home so that i can avoid the pricey publix and the general difficulty of getting two kids throught that nightmare parking lot and through the too small store. god i stink. it really sucks. it really stinks. i never know what to expect next and the only thing i am sure of is that i love her and i want her to be mine and i think i make myself into a bit of a doormat over it. i have never wanted anyone around, really, i preferred to be left the hell alone. that changed when i met her and now i'm making a fool of myself everyday just to try to make her happy, to see her smile. i am such an ass.